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August 6, 2014

Do looks matter?

If you understand about how the female mind works, then you’ll know that looks aren’t everything.

But do looks matter at all?

As guys, when we see a woman then it’s really the looks alone that decides whether we want to sleep with her or not.

So does that mean looks matter for us the same as they matter for women? No.

With women, it’s about much more than just looks - it’s about the guy’s whole “vibe”.

When a women talks about an “attractive guy” then it’s not necessarily just about his physical looks. It’s about his whole “vibe”, his confidence, his persona. But his look is a part of that.

Many dating coaches will tell you that looks don’t matter.

That serves them well.

“Your look doesn’t matter, just use my techniques and get all the girls you want”

Now although techniques and mindsets are very important, the first thing a woman is going to notice about you is how you look.

That’s not just your physical features.

I’d say actual physical features are only a very small part of that.

It’s more about your whole character. The whole “image” that you’re putting out there.

Luckily, that “image” is something that can be changed and improved on.


Here are some steps you can follow to improve your overall look:

1. Exercise
Our bodies are designed to run, hunt, and lift. We are not designed for sedentary lifestyles so it makes sense not to live one. Exercise more and you’ll be more attractive. You’ll have more energy and charisma, you’ll look better in your clothes, and you’ll have a much more positive outlook on life (I personally believe exercise can be a huge help in beating depression or just negative attitudes). Of course these benefits stretch far beyond simply “getting girls”. All of this will make you a much more productive worker / student, leaving you with a better job and more money in the future.

2. Eat well
Diet is a big factor in how you perform and if you want to lose weight you need to make sure that you’re eating right. There’s not much to really say on this topic because we all know what we should and shouldn’t be eating. A great rule to follow is to ask yourself - “would God want me to eat this?”. Now you don’t have to be religious to appreciate the meaning. Basically, only eat natural things. Nothing processed, nothing artificial. If you’re spending time studying the ingredients then it’s probably best to leave it. It’s pretty hard to live by that rule but the easiest way to stop yourself from eating bad foods is to just stop buying them. If they’re not in your house then you’ll find it a lot easier to resist eating those things. But seriously, treat yourself too. If you eat well and have one “cheat meal” a month then enjoy it. Don’t you dare feel guilty about it. When you do have a “cheat meal” then do so because it’s your choice and it makes you feel happy. That is a great thing in itself. Life is for living right? But if you cheat everyday then the results are inevitable. If you want to lose the weight and have a more attractive figure then you know what you’ll need to do. Also try to drink more water. It’s great for your skin and hair.

3. Sort out your wardrobe
Dressing well is a really big deal and can absolutely make you more attractive. Don’t think for a second that girls don’t pay attention to how you’re dressed. If you have enough money then get a personal shopper - they’ll be able to pick out exactly the right clothes for your body. If you can’t afford that then look in some men’s fashion magazines (or even search online) and pick out one or two outfits that you like the look of, and buy them. You don’t have to spend a load of money and buy the most expensive clothes though, try and find similar items at cheaper stores if you can’t afford to shop at the designer stores. Oh, and get a good pair of shoes. Women notice shoes.

4. Get a haircut
When’s the last time you changed your hairstyle? Ask yourself if you honestly think your haircut is still in fashion? A new haircut can drastically change your overall appearance so getting your hair right is a big step towards improving your look. Ask some female friends or do some searches online and try to find styles that you like. If you can afford it go into a high-end salon, ask for their advice and get them to cut your hair in the new style. Take pictures of it and you can always go back and show them to a cheaper salon to save money. If you can’t afford to even get one haircut at a high-end salon then go in any way and just ask for their advice. Ask them what they think you should do with your hair. Most people are friendly and hairdressers are generally going to be willing to give advice about the thing that they’re passionate about. Just thank them for their advice and say you’d love to get your haircut with them but you just can’t afford it at the moment. There’s no shame in that.

5. Basic grooming
Shower daily. Twice daily if necessary. You don’t have to use shower gel each time, in fact some natural soap is going to be much better for your skin. Don’t shampoo your hair everyday. Personally I wash my hair with shampoo about 5 days a week (and condition once a week), but my hair is very thick and can probably take a certain level of abuse. It may be different for you. Brush your teeth twice daily. Use mouthwash and make sure you floss (the bits of food between your teeth going off really do add up to quite a stink..). Trim your unwanted hair (nose, chest, back, neck, etc). Get a decent deodorant and invest in a nice aftershave.

6. Expression and mannerisms
Imagine two grey stick figures with no facial features or clothes, they look exactly the same. One is confident and attracts lots of women, one is shy and insecure. Can you tell which one is which? Of course. It’s nothing to do with clothes or looks, it’s all about their mannerisms. The way you carry yourself is a huge giveaway to what kind of value you have. Be a fun-loving guy who’s enjoying himself all the time. Smile. Walk with confidence, take your hands out of your pockets, lift your chin up when you walk, and make eye contact with every hot girl that comes near you (hint: if she looks at you and smiles then go approach her). You’ll be amazed how much more attention girls will give you by just changing this one thing.

7. Fix the things that bother you
There’s plenty of other things that may be bothering you personally, and may be effecting your self-confidence. If you have issues with these things then just get them sorted out! If you have acne then go to the doctors and get medication. If you wear glasses and you hate the way they look on you then get some new ones or get contacts / laser eye surgery. If you think you’ve got weird teeth then go to the dentist / orthodontist. If something’s bothering you and it can be changed, then do it. It can do a lot for your self-confidence.

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