Dating Foundations

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March 5, 2014

Excuses excuses!

“She’s too hot.”
“She’s not hot enough.”
“She’s on the phone.”
“She’s texting.”
“She already saw me.”
“She has headphones on.”
“She’s wearing sunglasses, I can’t see her face properly.”
“There’s too many people around.”
“I’m not really wearing the right clothes today.”
“She looks busy.”
“I need to learn a bit more theory first.”
“She looks like a bitch.”
“She probably doesn’t want to talk to me.”
“I don’t know what to say to her.”

There’s countless excuses that you can come up with to not approach a girl.

I say excuses because that’s all that they are. They’re not reasons to not approach. They make no logical sense when you think about it later on. When you wish that you’d just gone up to her and said hello. They’re excuses that you come up with in the moment.

Your mind does it to protect you.

It’s a self-defense mechanism.

Your mind says:

“Nah I don’t want change, I’m happy with what we’ve got now, we’re safe here”

… and then you get a feeling of not wanting to approach. A fear.
And you subconsciously come up with an excuse in your head that explains that feeling in a logical way.

“She’s too hot.”

“I just don’t know what to say to her.”

It’s perfectly normal. Change is unknown. Unknown is scary.

Your mind will do its best to keep you safe. To keep you alive.

But that doesn’t mean happy.

Your mind doesn’t give a damn about happy. It only cares about survival.

If you listen to your mind all of the time then you may survive, but you won’t necessarily be happy.

And as you’re surviving now, you’re safe.
Your mind doesn’t want you to risk that.

So there’s always going to be anxiety when you do something a bit different.
You have to accept that.

But what will you do about it?
Will you let it control you?
Or understand why you feel like that, but do it anyway?

Excuses are for losers. WINNERS come up with solutions.

If you’re having trouble approaching girls and you keep coming up with excuses then I challenge you to make a list of all the reasons why you’ve ever backed out of approaching an attractive girl.

All of them.

Then each day, pick just 1 of them and think about it realistically. Why is that an excuse and not a legitimate reason?

She’s too hot? You know that the hottest girls hardly EVER get approached and are actually the most friendly.
You don’t know what to say to her? Yes you do.
She’s on the phone? Ask her if it’s important or if she can call them back.
There’s too many people around? Nobody cares what you’re doing. Seriously. People are too busy with their own lives.

I could go through them all but the fact is - they’re all EXCUSES.

Every day pick just 1 of them and write it down. Then write down why it’s a terrible excuse.
Then promise yourself to never use that excuse again.

OK so now you might come up with another excuse. That’s fine.
Let’s take this 1 step at a time.
The next day you’re gonna pick another excuse from your list and banish that forever too.

Repeat until you have no excuses left.

You’re training yourself not to listen to your own excuses.

You’re training yourself to take risks and not “play it safe”.

You’re training yourself to take action and be happy.